Unless something crazy happens with my temps over the next few days (aka, a sudden jump back up), I think C17 will be starting soon. I'm getting incredibly sick of all this stuff. I'm tired of having to take Clomid and the side affects. I don't want to have to get another HCG shot (after the first one and the pain I had for 3 days, yeah...not quite what I want to go through again). I don't want to take my temp another day. I don't want to have this be so hard!! Why couldn't I just be more like my mom?? She had 3 kids in a matter of 3 years. Why can't I be that lucky??
With the turn of the calendar, it marks the 2 year anniversary of when we decided to start TTC. Granted, it hasn't been a full 2 years with all the deployments and schooling and whatnot, but still. It's a little bit of a stab in my side. Plus, to add to the fact that DH and I will be moving in 7 weeks doesn't help the situation either. I'm really debating if I want to do another round of Clomid this month. I know it's going to be a crazy stressful month, but then again, I love working with my doctor and his staff and I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back into another doctor regarding the infertility treatments and whatnot. Once we get to Colorado, I'll have to start over again with a new primary doctor and get a referral and go through everything again. I'm not looking forward to it at all. At least they'll have RE's a lot closer to where we'll be living, so I can go see an RE instead of an OB/GYN. I just don't want to start over with this stuff. It's already been such a long time, and having to go through a lot of this again isn't going to make it any easier at all.
Poss TRIGS:
This week, I was emailing/talking with a good friend of mine who happens to be 28 weeks pregnant with their first. She got talking about losing weight and how she did it because she has a family history of PCOS. She shared with me a little of her TTC struggles (I didn't even realize they were trying!), and I honestly teared up at work. [Thank goodness I was the only one there!] She said that she had been temping and thought that there was a possibility that she may have PCOS because she never really saw clear patterns in her charts. She said that she also had 2 false positive pregnancy tests. While her husband was deployed, she decided to lose some weight, and shockingly, the weekend he came home was the weekend that changed their lives. I seriously wanted to reach through the computer and give her a big hug and also share with her Hubby's and my struggles with TTC. Someday soon I will share with her though. She's such a great friend, and I am going to miss her dearly when we move. I felt so honored that she would share such personal information with me.
Friday was my last day of work. It's bittersweet to be leaving. Yeah, I didn't care for all the drama and whatnot, but honestly, there are so many great people that work there that I am going to miss a lot! And then there are those that I am not going to miss at all! Either way though, I don't have to go to work as an employee anymore, and it's going to be glorious!!
1 comment:
I am sorry that you are getting frustrated and feel like giving up. I go through it every time AF shows up too. But then I let a few days go by and it gets better.
If I were you, I would go through one more round of Clomid with your old doc. Figure it as one last shot. And if it doesn't work then who knows maybe you'll have better luck with the new doc!!!!
Good Luck with your move!!!
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