I've been a little absent from my blog lately. I have good reasons, mainly just because I haven't taken the time to write on it. It's been a crazy past few weeks.
A quick history: For the past few months, I've had spells where I've been nauseated, tired, and just had a huge loss of appetite, among other problems. I dropped 7 pounds in about 10 days, and trust me, I didn't have 7 pounds to lose in the first place. I took Nexium per my doctor because she thought I had GERD. Well, even on the Nexium, I still had symptoms a few weeks later. Over Thanksgiving, I quit taking it, thinking it wasn't helping and that I didn't want to be sick over the long weekend while my family visited. My symptoms went away a few days later. However, I didn't gain any weight back. I was referred to a nutritionist who set me up with an eating plan to help me gain weight the healthy way. Then, last week, I got a call from the phone nurse at my doctor's office and she informed me that my nutritionist called my doctor and thinks I may have something called Celiac Sprue. (Basically, that means that my body doesn't absorb the nutrients in my food like it should and if it goes untreated, I could end up with serious problems with my intestines. Celiac is also associated with gluten allergies.) So, now I need to go in and do a bunch of lab tests to see if in fact I have celiac. I haven't been able to put on any weight lately either.
Aside from my health issues, AF hit pretty hard yesterday. I had major doubling-over painful cramping. It's amazing I made it through work. Today they're not as bad, but I still have pain every once in awhile.
On to other news....work has been interesting. I'm so ready to quit there, but I guess I'm just waiting for a good legitimate reason. We really could use the extra money to help pay off my student loans, but I'm just getting sick of stuff there. It seems like there's so much drama and so many stupid new things that they want us to do, despite the strong opposition to the changes. We're peons though - we don't have a voice when it comes to changes that affect us.
The holiday season is upon us, and once again, I will be spending it alone. Granted, I am going to a friends' home for Christmas dinner, but Christmas morning there won't be any gift opening at my house (aside from the few items I'll probably get the dogs). There won't be any snuggling on the couch while watching the parades or football. Christmas movies will be enjoyed solely by me. In this time of family get-togethers and joy and laughter, I'll be home making pies and dreading going to work the following day. How depressing. You would think that I'd be used to it, but in the past, I've at least had some family around. Well, not this year. My husband is away, and my family is going to see other relatives. Not that I'd want them coming up to my house, but not having anyone home with me makes me realize how much I love having people home. I guess I'm just really missing my husband. I never really like to admit how much I really do love having him around picking on me or just being there period.
Okay, so that whole thing turned pretty depressing. I'm going to go do something a little more upbeat now, I think.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
21.43%
That's the percentage of pregnancy possibility that DH and I have had since we started trying to have a baby in March of 2007. Out of 14 cycles, only 21.43% chance of actually getting pregnant. No wonder we haven't gotten a BFP yet. Here's how I came to that conclusion:
We have been TTC for 14 cycles. (100%).
Of that, I have only ovulated for 6 of those cycles. (6/14 = ~42.86%)
Of those 6 ovulatory cycles, we've had good timing on 3 of those (3/6 x 42.86% = ~21.43%).
What sucky odds. A normal healthy couple will typically conceive within their first year of trying. Not us. We're both healthy, yet our first year resulted in less than 20% of getting knocked up. Most people only face a 20% chance every month of getting those two pink lines. DH and I, well, we faced 20% chance of pregnancy in a year's time, instead of a month's time. How crappy.
Maybe 2009 will have better results for us. I'm sure praying they will.
We have been TTC for 14 cycles. (100%).
Of that, I have only ovulated for 6 of those cycles. (6/14 = ~42.86%)
Of those 6 ovulatory cycles, we've had good timing on 3 of those (3/6 x 42.86% = ~21.43%).
What sucky odds. A normal healthy couple will typically conceive within their first year of trying. Not us. We're both healthy, yet our first year resulted in less than 20% of getting knocked up. Most people only face a 20% chance every month of getting those two pink lines. DH and I, well, we faced 20% chance of pregnancy in a year's time, instead of a month's time. How crappy.
Maybe 2009 will have better results for us. I'm sure praying they will.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thoughts... (poss. TRIGS)
So the Nexium is doing some amazing work, and I've only felt nauseous twice since taking it - once after chasing my Nexium with my PNV, and tonight - when I think I took it a little too late and the smell of dinner just wasn't helping. I have to go back in a few weeks for a follow-up with the doctor, and I'm going to ask her if this is something that I'm going to be on for the rest of my life or if possibly this is something that I could "'grow out of," sotospeak. I'm hoping for the latter, although I'm sure that with my family history (it apparently is prevalent on both my dad's and mom's sides), it's going to be something that I will need to deal with the rest of my life. On a good note though, I talked to my OB/GYN and he said that it's perfectly fine to take while TTC! Yippee!! He actually told me that it's a Class B medication and they prescribe it all the time for OB patients with GERD. It's safe, and that's something I was hoping I'd hear. I didn't want to get used to it and have it work for me then find out that it's not baby-safe.
As far as other news...
My hubby is still gone, and we're back to another military-induced period of abstinence (basically, no TTC). By now you'd think I'd be used to it [this is the third time we've been apart since we decided to start trying to have a baby]. There are days when I honestly think that 14 months really isn't that bad, all things considered. And then I have days when I just wish he would be home around my O date so it wouldn't be another month down the drain. I swear...TTC while in the military is so incredibly hard when you're apart more than you're together! At least I can be thankful that I have a wonderful OB/GYN doctor who knows my situation and is more than willing to help in whatever way he can. Makes those hard days seem a little easier.
Completely changing topics...I just have to blog a little about stuff pertaining to my job. I work in an OB/GYN office. Every day I see women of all ages coming in with their big preggo bellies. I get to see girls younger than me pregnant with their first. I get to see teenagers coming in wanting pregnancy tests only to find out a few hours later that their biggest nightmare has come true. I have to deal with 45+ year old women that think that they're current family just isn't quite enough and they think they should be able to have another baby. I have to see the tears stream down a mom-to-be's face after learning that her babies may not make it. I love to watch the new parents with their little baby who was born just a few weeks before. I have to listen to women complain about the discomfort they're in during the last few months of their pregnancy. I get to experience the joy and shock that a woman feels when she finds out she is pregnant with multiples - without using fertility drugs. I laugh with them over things. I connect with them to the point where if I see them on the street, I could go talk to them, and not even think twice. [I don't do this however. It'd be against the rules of my job.] It doesn't bother me to see/deal with all of these things [except for the near peri-menopausal women trying to get pregnant]. Why? That's a darned good question.
So many of the women I know that are TTC have issues going to baby showers for friends because of the big belly and the baby talk that is always prevalent. They don't like to read or hear about everyone else's pregnancies or even listen to their complaints about sleepless nights or aching backs. Since they themselves have not experienced the joys of motherhood, they can't seem to bring themselves to share in the joy of another woman's journey either. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too nice and don't let things get to me that often. Personally, I love hearing about pregnancies and even going to baby showers! I love the fact that I can go shopping for something for one of my friends' babies. I don't mind hearing about their issues. It just doesn't bug me.
Maybe I'm just strange.
Then again...maybe I'm just who I should be.
As far as other news...
My hubby is still gone, and we're back to another military-induced period of abstinence (basically, no TTC). By now you'd think I'd be used to it [this is the third time we've been apart since we decided to start trying to have a baby]. There are days when I honestly think that 14 months really isn't that bad, all things considered. And then I have days when I just wish he would be home around my O date so it wouldn't be another month down the drain. I swear...TTC while in the military is so incredibly hard when you're apart more than you're together! At least I can be thankful that I have a wonderful OB/GYN doctor who knows my situation and is more than willing to help in whatever way he can. Makes those hard days seem a little easier.
Completely changing topics...I just have to blog a little about stuff pertaining to my job. I work in an OB/GYN office. Every day I see women of all ages coming in with their big preggo bellies. I get to see girls younger than me pregnant with their first. I get to see teenagers coming in wanting pregnancy tests only to find out a few hours later that their biggest nightmare has come true. I have to deal with 45+ year old women that think that they're current family just isn't quite enough and they think they should be able to have another baby. I have to see the tears stream down a mom-to-be's face after learning that her babies may not make it. I love to watch the new parents with their little baby who was born just a few weeks before. I have to listen to women complain about the discomfort they're in during the last few months of their pregnancy. I get to experience the joy and shock that a woman feels when she finds out she is pregnant with multiples - without using fertility drugs. I laugh with them over things. I connect with them to the point where if I see them on the street, I could go talk to them, and not even think twice. [I don't do this however. It'd be against the rules of my job.] It doesn't bother me to see/deal with all of these things [except for the near peri-menopausal women trying to get pregnant]. Why? That's a darned good question.
So many of the women I know that are TTC have issues going to baby showers for friends because of the big belly and the baby talk that is always prevalent. They don't like to read or hear about everyone else's pregnancies or even listen to their complaints about sleepless nights or aching backs. Since they themselves have not experienced the joys of motherhood, they can't seem to bring themselves to share in the joy of another woman's journey either. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too nice and don't let things get to me that often. Personally, I love hearing about pregnancies and even going to baby showers! I love the fact that I can go shopping for something for one of my friends' babies. I don't mind hearing about their issues. It just doesn't bug me.
Maybe I'm just strange.
Then again...maybe I'm just who I should be.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sick of this stuff...and other ramblings
Long story short, I've been sick on and off for the past month. Mainly, it's been stomach pain to the point of nausea (no vomiting), food aversion, severe abdominal cramping, occasional spasmodic shaking, and a 7 pound weight loss in a matter of a couple of weeks! [Ok, 7 pounds doesn't sound like much, but I don't have 7 pounds to lose!!]. So anyways...I went to the doctor last Friday and actually got to see 2 different docs. One is in training and the other was the one I was originally scheduled to see. Well, both did work-ups on me and came to the same conclusion - there's one of 3 things possible: 1. ulcer; 2. acid reflux; 3. my stomach lining is infected/irritated. Basically, I had to do some lab work, and the doctor prescribed me Nexium to try and help settle things so I could get back to eating normal. So, I started my Nexium on Friday, and amazingly, I felt 100% better on Saturday morning. The doctor told me it would probably take a couple of weeks for the Nexium to fully help, but I felt so much better on Saturday morning and actually got to eat breakfast!
Tonight though was a completely different story. I took my Nexium and followed it with my pre-natal vitamin. Yeah, not so smart. Now my stomach is all crampy and icky again. I'm starting to feel better though, so maybe I'll get dinner eventually!
As for other things...work has gotten better. We had a huge remodel with our desks, so now I'm somewhat on the end, but that's okay with me! My patients still come and visit me. It's great to know they love me! There are still days though that completely suck, but overall, I think things are getting better. The provider we were having problems with has done a complete 180. She was talking to us like she did before all the drama started. It was nice knowing that she wasn't going to report us for something else, or scold us for not doing our job properly.
The weather here was gorgeous today, so I took my two dogs for a very very long walk. As I walked through military housing, it kind of dawned on me how much I really do want to have a baby. I walked past a house whose driveway was covered in sidewalk chalk drawings. I saw a father playing t-ball with his son. I saw another group of kids out with an adult and it looked to me like they were digging for worms. (I honestly don't know for sure what they were doing though. Whatever it was, it sure looked like fun!) I want to have a little one that I can draw sidewalk chalk pictures with, dig in the dirt with, play baseball with!
I can't wait until my hubby is back so we can get back to trying! With his change in jobs, he'll actually be home more, so we'll have a better shot at actually getting pregnant. [Previously, he was only home for a few days every week, so getting any actual BDing in was practically non-existent. We did more FDing than anything else.] I already have an OB/GYN doctor, and he's been really truly great. Of course, I'm sure it helps that I work in his office, but still. If we're still living here in this area when we get our BFP, that'll be the doctor I see!
Ok, super long post... Maybe if I post more often, I won't get so long-winded!
Tonight though was a completely different story. I took my Nexium and followed it with my pre-natal vitamin. Yeah, not so smart. Now my stomach is all crampy and icky again. I'm starting to feel better though, so maybe I'll get dinner eventually!
As for other things...work has gotten better. We had a huge remodel with our desks, so now I'm somewhat on the end, but that's okay with me! My patients still come and visit me. It's great to know they love me! There are still days though that completely suck, but overall, I think things are getting better. The provider we were having problems with has done a complete 180. She was talking to us like she did before all the drama started. It was nice knowing that she wasn't going to report us for something else, or scold us for not doing our job properly.
The weather here was gorgeous today, so I took my two dogs for a very very long walk. As I walked through military housing, it kind of dawned on me how much I really do want to have a baby. I walked past a house whose driveway was covered in sidewalk chalk drawings. I saw a father playing t-ball with his son. I saw another group of kids out with an adult and it looked to me like they were digging for worms. (I honestly don't know for sure what they were doing though. Whatever it was, it sure looked like fun!) I want to have a little one that I can draw sidewalk chalk pictures with, dig in the dirt with, play baseball with!
I can't wait until my hubby is back so we can get back to trying! With his change in jobs, he'll actually be home more, so we'll have a better shot at actually getting pregnant. [Previously, he was only home for a few days every week, so getting any actual BDing in was practically non-existent. We did more FDing than anything else.] I already have an OB/GYN doctor, and he's been really truly great. Of course, I'm sure it helps that I work in his office, but still. If we're still living here in this area when we get our BFP, that'll be the doctor I see!
Ok, super long post... Maybe if I post more often, I won't get so long-winded!
Monday, October 6, 2008
i'm in a dead end job
Today, I came to the realization that I am stuck in a dead-end job. Granted, there are days when I absolutely love my job and wouldn't trade it for the world. More often than not though, I just come home crabby and with a near-migraine headache. I work in a clinic as a receptionist. My coworkers are really great. I love getting to see my pregnant friends and neighbors come up. I love to see the women come up that have tried for months and months to get pregnant and then they get their two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I love those days.
Then there are days like today. One nurse decided to try and tell me something that I knew wasn't right. A patient and her family had driven a good hour plus for an appointment as well as for her to get a shot. Well, the nurse tried to go around and around with me justifying why this patient supposedly couldn't get her shot. In the end, I was right. The patient got her shot (although the mother wasn't too impressed with the nurse), and all was well. It's frustrating to no end when people don't put our patients first. Should it really matter who a person's doctor is for some things? Absolutely not. If a patient needs to be seen and there's an opening in a provider's schedule, my philosophy is to fill the space! The patient will get their needs addressed and the provider will see a couple of extra bucks on their paycheck. How hard is that to get?!?!?!
Now, add to that a bunch of changes that are suddenly being made at work. These changes are never told to us - we find them out through others' word of mouth, or by seeing the new procedures/forms/etc. the day the change is instated. Sure, occasionally they'll ask for our input before they implement some changes so we are somewhat aware of the new procedures or whatnot, but nine times out of ten though, our suggestions and comments fall on deaf ears. The administration will do whatever they think is best instead of what the staff feels would be best for not only our department as employees, but also for the patients when it comes to the care they receive. It's so frustrating.
I was discussing with my husband today the frustrations I am having with work, and he's all for me quitting there. Personally I'd absolutely love to! I'd love to find a job where there are promotion opportunities and possible management positions! [There aren't any in my current workplace.] I'd love to find a job where I'm not stuck at a desk staring at a computer screen and answering phones all day. I'd love to have more interaction with people rather than just talking over a "window". It'd be great to be able to get up and move around more often. I'm not a desk-job person, I guess. Reality hits though, and I realize that we're still paying on my student loans and my car. My job basically helps to pay for those things month after month. I figure though, if we end up finding out that we'll be moving [which is what I'm really hoping for], I'll quit my job a little earlier than what I usually would, and just enjoy life. I definitely won't be going back to a job like what I have right now. I know that I just won't be happy living day in and day out stuck behind a computer screen and a desk with a phone up to my ear.
Then there are days like today. One nurse decided to try and tell me something that I knew wasn't right. A patient and her family had driven a good hour plus for an appointment as well as for her to get a shot. Well, the nurse tried to go around and around with me justifying why this patient supposedly couldn't get her shot. In the end, I was right. The patient got her shot (although the mother wasn't too impressed with the nurse), and all was well. It's frustrating to no end when people don't put our patients first. Should it really matter who a person's doctor is for some things? Absolutely not. If a patient needs to be seen and there's an opening in a provider's schedule, my philosophy is to fill the space! The patient will get their needs addressed and the provider will see a couple of extra bucks on their paycheck. How hard is that to get?!?!?!
Now, add to that a bunch of changes that are suddenly being made at work. These changes are never told to us - we find them out through others' word of mouth, or by seeing the new procedures/forms/etc. the day the change is instated. Sure, occasionally they'll ask for our input before they implement some changes so we are somewhat aware of the new procedures or whatnot, but nine times out of ten though, our suggestions and comments fall on deaf ears. The administration will do whatever they think is best instead of what the staff feels would be best for not only our department as employees, but also for the patients when it comes to the care they receive. It's so frustrating.
I was discussing with my husband today the frustrations I am having with work, and he's all for me quitting there. Personally I'd absolutely love to! I'd love to find a job where there are promotion opportunities and possible management positions! [There aren't any in my current workplace.] I'd love to find a job where I'm not stuck at a desk staring at a computer screen and answering phones all day. I'd love to have more interaction with people rather than just talking over a "window". It'd be great to be able to get up and move around more often. I'm not a desk-job person, I guess. Reality hits though, and I realize that we're still paying on my student loans and my car. My job basically helps to pay for those things month after month. I figure though, if we end up finding out that we'll be moving [which is what I'm really hoping for], I'll quit my job a little earlier than what I usually would, and just enjoy life. I definitely won't be going back to a job like what I have right now. I know that I just won't be happy living day in and day out stuck behind a computer screen and a desk with a phone up to my ear.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Intro
Blogging has now become the new thing in the 21st century, so I figured, what the heck. Why not start one of my own? When I was younger, I had a diary, then a journal, and now, a blogspot! Seems fitting I guess.
So a little about me:
I'm 23.
I'm married to the most wonderful guy.
We have 2 dogs - a basset hound and a lab mix something-rather.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since March 2007, but no luck as of yet.
I graduated from college in 2007, but do not currently use my degree.
My husband and I spend just as much time apart as we do together.
I'm not afraid to dig in and get my hands dirty, no matter the task.
I love throwing huge parties and cooking big meals.
If I could, I would have a baby grand piano in my house so I could play every day.
Someday, we're going to have a fish tank filled with cichlids.
My dream vehicle would be a Dodge Ram 1500 (or bigger, but I'd settle for a 1500).
I really don't like Canada all that much.
People get really hyped over the Black Hills and Mt. Rushmore - I don't get it.
I'm a little bit of a perfectionist.
I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU and CI, and House.
Just a little insight into me. I'm sure that as I post, you'll learn more, but for now, that'll do.
So a little about me:
I'm 23.
I'm married to the most wonderful guy.
We have 2 dogs - a basset hound and a lab mix something-rather.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since March 2007, but no luck as of yet.
I graduated from college in 2007, but do not currently use my degree.
My husband and I spend just as much time apart as we do together.
I'm not afraid to dig in and get my hands dirty, no matter the task.
I love throwing huge parties and cooking big meals.
If I could, I would have a baby grand piano in my house so I could play every day.
Someday, we're going to have a fish tank filled with cichlids.
My dream vehicle would be a Dodge Ram 1500 (or bigger, but I'd settle for a 1500).
I really don't like Canada all that much.
People get really hyped over the Black Hills and Mt. Rushmore - I don't get it.
I'm a little bit of a perfectionist.
I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU and CI, and House.
Just a little insight into me. I'm sure that as I post, you'll learn more, but for now, that'll do.
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