This whole wedding thing with my sister has become quite the mess. This past week, they had a little bit of a fight/disagreement, but it all stems from a lot of "me, me, me, I, I, I" from my sister. The pastor who is doing their pre-marital counseling told them to take a week and not talk, text, call, or basically see each other. He wanted them to have no contact for an entire week.
Now enter more drama...
The pastor has been a mentor to my sister's fiance for the past 6 years, so there's quite a relationship built between them. Apparently, he doesn't seem to like my sister (based on the previous 1 counseling session they had had) and basically told the fiance that he doesn't want him to marry my sister. Say what?!?!?!
Well, yesterday they had another counseling session, and the two of them (my sis and her fiance) have decided to postpone their original August wedding date. My sis said they have some things they need to work through and feel it would be better to push the wedding back. They haven't set a date for sure, but they're thinking of pushing it to...
October.
Are you flipping kidding me?? My sister is fully aware that I am due in October, and I even told her that if she wants me and Hubby there, that September through November are out of the question for sure. Granted, I do not want her to plan her life around me or our upcoming family, but it almost seems like she doesn't really even care if her own family (and not just me) is at her wedding. Heck, when we thought we were going to have twins she had a back-up bridesmaid in case I couldn't be there.
And if they do an October wedding, it also puts my parents in a predicament. Do they go to my sister's wedding, or do they make plans to come out to see their first grandbaby? They're going to feel torn between the two of us, and if they chose to come out to see us when Aubrey is born, my sister will be completely jealous and say stuff like "She's the baby...she always gets her way." (Not kidding at all.)
Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude of her not to consider the fact that October and the months surrounding it are not good ones for us? Granted, October is not set in stone, but still. How would you handle this situation? What in the world should I say to her?
I can honestly say that if my parents have to choose, I'll selfishly admit that I'd want them here. But I don't want them even having to face a situation like that either because it's really not fair to them at all.
I just have no idea how to even approach this whole thing. I want to tell my sister straight out all this stuff, but I know she wouldn't take it well at all.
Why can't life just be easy??
3 comments:
Sounds to me like you just need to be completely up front with her - tell her straight out that if she wants you (or more importantly your family) to be at her wedding then she needs to think about pushing it to a date that's more doable for the whole family. It sounds as though this might not be a bad idea anyway...
I'm sorry you're dealing w/ more stress - this is definitely not needed, huh?
That's a tough one, but someone should probably say something to her. Maybe you could throw an example to her like, "What if the roles were reversed and m&d came to my wedding and not the birth of your first baby, how would that make you feel?" "They shouldn't have to choose between their daughter's big days." I dunno f she's the bridezilla type, but you might want to tread lghtly! =) Let us know how it goes.
New here. Be straight up w/her. She's your sis. Let her know you want to be a part of her day and it hurts you that she is making where you cannot attend.
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