i'm in a dead end job

Today, I came to the realization that I am stuck in a dead-end job. Granted, there are days when I absolutely love my job and wouldn't trade it for the world. More often than not though, I just come home crabby and with a near-migraine headache. I work in a clinic as a receptionist. My coworkers are really great. I love getting to see my pregnant friends and neighbors come up. I love to see the women come up that have tried for months and months to get pregnant and then they get their two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I love those days.

Then there are days like today. One nurse decided to try and tell me something that I knew wasn't right. A patient and her family had driven a good hour plus for an appointment as well as for her to get a shot. Well, the nurse tried to go around and around with me justifying why this patient supposedly couldn't get her shot. In the end, I was right. The patient got her shot (although the mother wasn't too impressed with the nurse), and all was well. It's frustrating to no end when people don't put our patients first. Should it really matter who a person's doctor is for some things? Absolutely not. If a patient needs to be seen and there's an opening in a provider's schedule, my philosophy is to fill the space! The patient will get their needs addressed and the provider will see a couple of extra bucks on their paycheck. How hard is that to get?!?!?!

Now, add to that a bunch of changes that are suddenly being made at work. These changes are never told to us - we find them out through others' word of mouth, or by seeing the new procedures/forms/etc. the day the change is instated. Sure, occasionally they'll ask for our input before they implement some changes so we are somewhat aware of the new procedures or whatnot, but nine times out of ten though, our suggestions and comments fall on deaf ears. The administration will do whatever they think is best instead of what the staff feels would be best for not only our department as employees, but also for the patients when it comes to the care they receive. It's so frustrating.

I was discussing with my husband today the frustrations I am having with work, and he's all for me quitting there. Personally I'd absolutely love to! I'd love to find a job where there are promotion opportunities and possible management positions! [There aren't any in my current workplace.] I'd love to find a job where I'm not stuck at a desk staring at a computer screen and answering phones all day. I'd love to have more interaction with people rather than just talking over a "window". It'd be great to be able to get up and move around more often. I'm not a desk-job person, I guess. Reality hits though, and I realize that we're still paying on my student loans and my car. My job basically helps to pay for those things month after month. I figure though, if we end up finding out that we'll be moving [which is what I'm really hoping for], I'll quit my job a little earlier than what I usually would, and just enjoy life. I definitely won't be going back to a job like what I have right now. I know that I just won't be happy living day in and day out stuck behind a computer screen and a desk with a phone up to my ear.

Intro

Blogging has now become the new thing in the 21st century, so I figured, what the heck. Why not start one of my own? When I was younger, I had a diary, then a journal, and now, a blogspot! Seems fitting I guess.

So a little about me:

I'm 23.
I'm married to the most wonderful guy.
We have 2 dogs - a basset hound and a lab mix something-rather.
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since March 2007, but no luck as of yet.
I graduated from college in 2007, but do not currently use my degree.
My husband and I spend just as much time apart as we do together.
I'm not afraid to dig in and get my hands dirty, no matter the task.
I love throwing huge parties and cooking big meals.
If I could, I would have a baby grand piano in my house so I could play every day.
Someday, we're going to have a fish tank filled with cichlids.
My dream vehicle would be a Dodge Ram 1500 (or bigger, but I'd settle for a 1500).
I really don't like Canada all that much.
People get really hyped over the Black Hills and Mt. Rushmore - I don't get it.
I'm a little bit of a perfectionist.
I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU and CI, and House.

Just a little insight into me. I'm sure that as I post, you'll learn more, but for now, that'll do.

Our TTC Journey

Just a sampling of what we've gone through on this TTC road..

• March 4, 2011 - First U/S - Surprise!!  Identical twins!!

• Feb 10, 2011 - Beta #2 - 1212

• Feb 8, 2011 - Beta #1 - 455

• Jan 2011 - IVF #1 in Texas, ER - 16 eggs, 13 fertilized; 5dt of 1 AA blast; 11 embies on ice

• Oct 2010 - Repeat all IF labs and tests for Jan 2011 IVF; HSG showed only slight dilation at the end of the right tube (previously was nearly completely dilated)

• Jan 2010 - Sept 2010 - TAB while hubby is deployed

• Jan 17, 2010 - AF shows; back to TAB while the hubby is deployed yet again

• Dec 15, 2009 - C26; Clomid Challenge test; CD3 levels all fine; CD10 shows slightly elevated LH levels

• Dec 8, 2009 - Travel to Texas for orientation for IVF; learned that we had to have an initial consult with RE before we could be put on the waiting list for IVF; Dr. K. squeezed us in for our initial consult that day due to our long travel time there; determine a plan - get records sent to him regarding all IF stuff, he'll review them and decide if doing surgery to open tubes is a possibility;  meanwhile, I do Clomid Challenge Test; ultimately are put on waiting list for August 2010 IVF schedule

• Oct 20, 2009 - C25; strange spotting mid-cycle

• Sept 28, 2009 - LAP scheduled for possible endo on right tube; showed no endo, possible distal blockage on left tube and diseased tubes; diagnosis: Tubal Factor IF; IVF most likely next step
  

• Sept 26, 2009 - C24; LAP surgery cycle
  

• Sept 7, 2009 - C23 (23 months)

• Aug 28, 2009 - HSG shows dilated right tube, normal uterus and left tube

• Aug 22, 2009 - C22 (22 months) - CD3 b/w, HSG, and rpt SA

• Aug 4, 2009 - appt with new GYN (Dr. M) to establish treatment plan

• July 15, 2009 - appt with new GYN (Dr. S); recommends another physician in his practice

• July 4, 2009 - C21: unmonitored 100 mg Clomid; strange AF (she never ends!!); 17 day LP; BFN

• June 12, 2009 - met with new OB/GYN (Dr. W); not impressed with him; getting second opinion elsewhere

• May 31, 2009 - C20: no meds; O'd on my own; BFN

• April 28, 2009 - C19: TAB from meds - in the process of finding an RE; O'd on my own!; BFN

• April 1, 2009 - C18: (final round with NoDak doc) 100 mg Clomid, U/S, trigger; BFN

• March 2, 2009 - C17: 100 mg Clomid, U/S, trigger, tussin; 4 BFN

• Feb 1, 2009 - C16: 100 mg Clomid, U/S CD11 & 13, HCG trigger, tussin & OPK; impecable timing; BFN

• Jan 2009 - Hubby home; non-medicated cycle; O'd, BFN

• Oct 2008 - Dec 2008 - TAB again; Hubby away for training

• Sept 2008 - C14: 100 mg Clomid, O'd + perfect timing = BFN

• March 2008 - Aug 2008 - Military-induced absintance (aka deployment)

• Jan 2008 - last C before TAB; long LP (17 days), BFN

• Oct 2007 - met with OB/GYN; discussing infertility issues; 50 mg Clomid - anovulatory = BFN

• August 2007 - more pain, another possible cyst; referred to OB/GYN

• May 2007 - Jan 2008 - C3-C13: actively TTC, but horrible timing due to Hubby's work schedule

• May 2007 - extreme pelvic/abdominal pain (possible cyst); started charting BBT and taking PNV

• March 2007 - Hubby returned from deployment; started TTC
  

• December 2005 - Hubby and I married